It's just hard...

UPDATE:
My day yesterday was a rough one that i know all moms go through at some point. I have these days often lately, but last night, i was thinking and even though I have to work alot, I do want to say that I am very blessed to spend the moments that I have with Lily. She is very healthy and we could be in much worse circumstances, so while I can't exactly change the lemons right now, I must make lemonade! :)



First of all, if you are at a Stay-at-home mom, count your blessings.

Most of you know that I work full-time against my ultimate will, but financially, our family would not be able to have the things that we do if I did not work. It's just hard.

It's really never been an option for me not to work..even though I tried to come up with ways when LIly was small for me not to work. Nothing seemed to work out.

I am really blessed with good childcare for Lily.

Grant it, Lily has done pretty good in the past not crying when we leave her, but for the past couple of months, it's been rough. It's just hard.

This morning was no exception. As soon as we walked in to daycare, she started crying and really crying, hanging on to me and refusing to let go. Some days she pleads wanting to go with us.

It is the hardest thing for me to leave her crying and usually I won't, but today, she wouldn't stop so I did. I know that she always stops crying after we leave, but that doesn't help me a lot. It's just hard.

There is no solution. Prizes, rewards, nothing seems to work..She has been on this schedule since she was 10 weeks old, so why she still cries I'm not sure. However, she doesn't cry every day, but those bad days are the ones i remember the most. It's just so hard.

I am thinking of putting her in preschool earlier maybe next year when she's 3 almost 4 with the hopes that she will be excited about school and won't cry. Any suggestions?

When I am not working, unless it is necessary, I do not leave Lily and it's because I am away from her over 9 hours every week day. I am missing her life, the main part of it. It's just hard. People tell me I should leave her on the weekends but they don't see that I leave her plenty, more than plenty.If I didn't leave her every day, then I'm sure there would be times when we would be excited about leaving her. I know I am not the only working mom, but dang, this is just hard.

well, it's more than hard, I despise it..and the bad thing is there is nothing i can do to make it better.

Guess, it's just always going to be hard.

This Week's Blog Hop - Favorite Kid Photo

This week's Blog Hop theme is Favorite Kid Photos. You can have one or more of your favorite photos your kids, grandkids, someone else's kid or even YOU when you were a kid. Funny, precious, heartwarming... your favorite!.

Well you all know I am a picture fanatic so it is extremely difficult to choose one favorite photo of Lily, but here are just a few of my favorites from the past 2 1/2 years.

Show Us Your Life Friday - Wedding Dress

Kelly at Kelly's Korner Blog is hosting Show Us Your Life Friday and this week, it's show us your wedding dress!

Last week, I had this huge post about my anniversary so you got a sneak peek at my wedding dress and as I said. I searched online for the perfect dress.

In the small town where I live, there are not a lot of choices for wedding dress shopping. We had been to a couple of local places but nothing struck my eye to even try on. I found the dress I wanted online at David's Bridal.

We traveled two hours to the closest David's Bridal and BJ dropped me and my mom off while he went to Best Buy. I knew it wouldn't take long ;) I was grouped with a personal shopper and she helped me to pick out 5-7 dresses including the one I knew I wanted. I tried on a couple of dresses but they weren't the one. As soon as I tried on MY DRESS, I walked out of the dressing room and my mom immediately started crying. We knew it was the one. I don't remember exactly but I honestly don't think we were in the store any longer than an hour and a half. It couldn't have been any quicker or more perfect of a dress.


On my wedding day
The back of my dress

Sitting down in my dress - I wanted one to feel like a Princess and I did.

Enjoy! Hope you have a great weekend!

Food Fixing Friday - Desserts

Can you say the dual of the two Kellys? Kelly at Kelly's Korner Blog is having a wedding dress MckLinky this week and Kelly at Two Kids, a MiniVan, and a lot of love is sponsoring Food Fixing Friday this week, so how do I decide which to post...ha, let's post both!

Up first is a Dessert recipe. This is BJ's special recipe and he is a pro at making it. It's always delicious and sure to impress.

Chocolate Eclair Dessert

1 Large Box Instant Vanilla Pudding (Mix Pudding as on box)
1 (12 oz) Container Cool Whip
1 Box Graham Crackers
1 Can Milk Chocolate Icing (frosting)

First, mix pudding as directions state on box. Then mix container of cool whip with pudding. Then get large pan or dish and layer the bottom with graham crackers completely. Then pour a layer of pudding and then another layer of graham crackers. Repeat with another layer of pudding then crackers. Finally pour the last of the pudding over the crackers and melt the chocolate icing in the microwave and pour over the top. After that is complete, then you can put it in the refrigerator to cool.

It's really easy and quick and yummy!

Free Blog Makeover! Thanks Kelly!

Kelly at Two Kids, a Minivan, and a lot of Love hosted a Free Blog Makeover Contest last week, and I was one of the winners! Can you believe that? I actually won something! I was in amazement to see my name as the winner on her blog.

She just completed the makeover and I would like to thank her for her hard work. My blog looks great!

Please check out her site and read about her family. She has a great blog and two very cute kids!

Not My Child!

This week, MckMama has changed Not Me! Monday to Not My Child! Monday. The glamorous stories of things we are so proud that our children would never do. As you all know, Lily is just almost perfect and never does anything outrageous! (Ha!)

Lily would never go into my bedroom dresser drawers and find a brand new outfit that she was so excited about. (She cried when I finally made her undress.)

Lily did not spend 10 minutes in church last night during the choir special using a baby wipe to "dust" the pews and carefully clean each one. What child in their right mind wants to clean things? Her Maw-Maw has rubbed off on her, but hey, it kept her occupied.

Lily had her first trip ever to Chuck-E-Cheese on Saturday. She had the best time ever and loved every minute! She did not insist on walking around barefoot the entire time though. It is carpeted but I was cringing with the idea even though I love to walk barefoot. Let's not do this in public places Lily! :) Take note of the bare feet below.

My child was definitely not the one who came strolling through our dining room "ready to go shopping at Wal-Mart" in this outfit below. Complete with hat, necklace, lipstick, shopping cart, purse, and baby. Where's your clothes Lily? She never realized she wasn't dressed. She is too creative and imaginative this days and I'm loving it.

It was definitely Not My Child who done these things! ;)

Five years of Wedding Bliss!

Wow! Two posts in one day. I'm impressed with myself, but today is mine and BJ's 5th wedding anniversary! A very special day for us ...I say it is hard to believe we have been married five years, but it's hard to remember life without him in it.


He is such a wonderful husband and great father to Lily.

I thought in honor of the last 5 years I would share the top 5 reasons that I love him so much.

1. He never complains. There are so many times that I never know when he feels bad because he never complains. He never complains about having to do something he really doesn't want to and is always there fully and completely when I ask him to help me with something. He loves to cook and gladly helps me. He is a huge help with housework and though I sometimes feel bad because he is helping with some of my "wife" duties because I don't always have time, he tells me he doesn't mind helping. He doesn't know how much I appreciate him!

2. He is the best Daddy in the world. From the day I found out I was pregnant with Lily, he took care of my every need. Now that Lily is here, she is definitely a daddy's girl. She loves her daddy so much and he spends so much time with her. He changes diapers like a pro and honestly, he does as much taking care of Lily as I do. He is definitely a modern age dad who fears nothing and gladly takes responsibility for her. He is also the main disciplinarine in our family and Lily will mind him when she won't listen to anyone else. In my opinion, he has no faults as a daddy.
3. He is a Christian. We go to the church every week together as a family. He sings in the choir and is about to start teaching young boys Sunday School. Even though, he still likes to think of himself as a "bad boy" lol, he's the most kind, good-hearted person.

4. He likes to think he is a "bad boy, or well a little rebellious" lol.. He drives like a wild man. Since we've been dating, I've been holding on and me and Lily still hang on today. He loves to drive though and most of the time as wild as he is, he's still a good driver. He loves to turn the radio up loud and sing and dance with Lily. He has even taught her to dirty dance, not sure if this is good or not, lol..

5. He loves me. This is probably my favorite thing about him. When I was growing up, I never had a boyfriend. I had a crush every now or then, but I was never aware of boys liking me. I always felt awkward and nerdy, lol..I prayed for a husband and a good one, and I thank God everyday for blessing me with a wonderful husband. I definitely have my faults and lots of them. He is good to me for putting up with me some days. I cannot imagine my world without him!

There are lots and lots more things that I love about BJ, but those are just a few of my favorite.

I would also like to share the story of how we met in honor of our anniversary. Prepare yourself for this. lol..

I remember the first time I saw BJ. (He doesn't remember this but I do.) I was in 9th grade and he was in 10th grade and we were in the same PE class. I was very shy and had just moved from a small county junior high to a huge consolidated high school and didn't know but about 45 people out of my 300 freshmen class. I met a girl in that class and she told me about this guy she had a crush on. She pointed him out to me, his name was BJ. I thought to myself, well he is cute.

Time went on, and one day some of BJ's friends came up to me and asked me would I go out with him. Well, I was like "no way. I don't know him." (In the back of my mind, I was too shy and knew that my friend liked him so I wouldn't do that to her.)

We finished that PE class at Christmas and I always knew who BJ was, but we never spoke or had any contact until my Senior year.

My Senior year in August, I got a job at a local grocery store in the Deli and BJ worked there as a bag boy. We still never spoke much unless it was work related. I can remember getting so nervous around him and watching for him to walk by, I thought he was so cute. I remember fixing him tea a couple of times or a lunch plate and being so excited. I remember one time he told me he saw me at the high school homecoming's game, and I was so taken back.

That January of 2000, using "Yahoo messenger" online became something popular with all of my friends. One night I was chatting with one of my friends who was a cashier at the same grocery store. I asked her who she was chatting with that night and she told me BJ from work. I asked for his user id and she gave it to me. BJ and I started chatting every night. We started talking more and more..One night at the end of the February, he asked me online (of course) if I thought my parents would let me go to a movie with him. I said sure. We ended up going to a local restaurant called Steve's at the time and eating on a Thursday night due to my Beta Club Convention that next weekend. I had to be home really early because I had to pack and it was a school night, but I had the best time ever. I can probably say by this time, I was in love...

I always like to think BJ was, too, but he was a typical teenaged boy with lots of friends and he had no plans of settling down anytime soon. We ended up going to my Senior Prom together and we went on lots of double dates with BJ's younger sister. On my 18th BirthdayWe were just babies..lol..so young..
BJ tried to push me away after a while and almost broke my heart and told me he just wanted to be friends. I settled for friends for a long time (gosh almost 3 years).I went through a lot of tears and sad times..but I was a girl in love who wasn't giving up her fight. I stuck it out and in October of 2003, BJ finally gave in..(to my stalking him he says, lol) He gave me a promise ring that Christmas, we found the perfect house in March 0f 2004, worked on it and fixed it up. We were married July 17, 2004. It was the most beautiful ceremony ever! We moved in our house after our honeymoon and it's been a great life! I honestly know that God meant for us to be together. It's not always easy and we are not perfect, but we make it work and we don't plan on it ever not working. We are in our marriage til the end.

Pics from our Beautiful Wedding at the small country church I grew up at my whole life and we still attend.

And one picture from our Honeymoon in Mexico Beach, FL

Thanks for everything, BJ! I hope you have a great day and realize how much you mean to me.

Show Us Your Birthday Parties - Lily's 1st Birthday - Princess Style

Kelly at Kelly's Korner is having a special spotlight on children's birthday parties today on her blog. I absolutely love planning Lily's parties each year. I am already starting to plan her 3rd party and I was so excited to get to blog about her parties.

Her first party was a big one. It was great and went perfect. I always knew I wanted to have her a Princess party because she was our little princess.

We ordered her party supplies from Birthday Express and picked up coordination decoration at several party supply stores in our area. This was Lily's invitation. (You can click it to see larger.

I made these myself and thought they turned out cute!

I borrowed a huge tent from the company I work for and we went wild with lots of balloons and decorations.



Here is the cake and some of the desserts that I served. I loved, loved, loved her cakes. I had found a picture online and a local lady made them. They were wonderful!

The birthday girl and her cake. I found a dress with a 1 on it that match perfectly.

Centerpieces on each table


One of the food tables, the gift table, and the favor table. (I did crowns for the girls and swords for the boys. I also made personalized Hershey square wrappers for bite sized candies.)
It was very windy so the tablesclothes did not want to behave.

Balloons in the center of the tent


Lily's High Chair


Extra decorations on our deck

There was so many details that I am leaving out, but this is a taste of the great party that was Lily's 1st Birthday. We had over 50 guests and it was a wonderful day!

Watch next for Lily's 2nd Birthday to be added soon.

MckLinky: Blog Hop - 3 Things You didn't Know about Me

Today is Tuesday, and it's time for the Blog Hop.
This week's theme is "3 Things You Didn't Know about Me". This is kind of a hard one because I'm very simple and don't have many exciting secrets.

Let's see:

1. I'm 5 foot 10 inches tall. Taller than most, shorter than some, but I always have to buy "tall" sized pants and it's not much fun.

2. I graduated 8th in my senior class of over 200 students in high school. I could have done much better but got lazy in my senior year.

3. My husband and brother are both nicknamed "B.J." So odd, definitely not planned and both have very different meanings behind their name. It does get confusing when telling a story involving both of them.

Not Me! Monday

It's time again for Not Me! Monday.

MckMama's wonderful idea of telling exactly what we would never do.

She puts it best by saying..

"Are you feeling guilty for not changing your children's bedsheets for weeks on end? Overcome with embarrassment after your child wets his pants in public? We'll don't be! Not Me! Monday was born out of my desire to admit some of my imperfections and reveal a few moments I'd rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!"

Head over to her blog to read her "Not Me! Monday" post but only after reading mine first.

Last week was a busy week. Lots going on, especially in the world of potty-training our less than 5 months shy of being a 3 year old little princess. We are trying so hard with her and I know she is more than smart enough to have been potty trained months ago, but she is also very strong willed. She loves wearing her big girl panties but not so much the idea of telling her mommy and daddy when she has to potty. As a result, we have to have a mental note of when to drag her to the potty every 15 minutes or so to avoid accidents. Speaking of accidents...when my mom brought Lily by my desk to visit at work, after asking Lily if she needed to potty and getting a "no", I would never then have to run to the breakroom to get paper towels to clean up my wet (plastic, thank goodness) chair mat. I would never let Lily do this..by not taking her anyways to the potty when she said "no." "No" always means "I'm too busy to go potty, mommy."

Speaking of wet subjects, I would never hop in the pool with Lily full dressed (twice) after she pleaded with me to get in. I always have on my bathing suit. I also did not venture outside to clean our pool in my night gown a couple of nights ago reasoning that even though we live on a busy road with neighbors, it was almost dark and surely no one would see me;)

That's probably enough N0t Me's! for one week even though there's lots more..

I'm excited about something special coming up at the end of this week. My wonderful husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary on Friday! Watch for a special post dedicated to him!

Wordless Wednesday

McLinky and Happy 4th of July!

I was invited to participate in MckLinky. Something new and fun... I think sounds like a great idea. This week the topic is to "Introduce your Blog." My blog, I hope, is fun to read. It's the story of me and my family. I am a Southern wife and mommy who loves to write about our family's adventures and my wonderful husband and most of all - the lots of love that I have for our two year old princess - Lily. I love to take pictures and get even more excited to post them for everyone to see. I hope you will find a sense of warmth in my blog and leave a comment to let me know. I hope that everyone has a great 4th of July weekend. We have lots of grilling, swimming, and fireworks planned. I am including a collage of Lily from the past 3 - 4th of July's. I thought it was neat to see how much she has grown. Enjoy!

3 days at the Beach = Lots and Lots of Fun in the Sun!

We spent this past Sunday through Tuesday in Gulf Shores at the same condo that we stayed at in May.

This time we took some girls to keep us company. BJ's oldest sister, Michelle, her daughter, Amber, and Amber's cousin (on her dad's side) Rachel, came along with us for our mini-vacation.
On Sunday, we got up really early and visited in Mobile with Lily's great-grandpa Silas (BJ's grandpa). She loves to visit and spend time with him. We visited for a bit then enjoyed going to church with him.

After church, we were beach-bound. After spending time in the pool, we ate at the Original Oyster House in Gulf Shores. It was our first time to eat there and I loved it! (BJ is allergic to seafood so we normally stay away from seafood restaurants but he was nice enough to let us go and enjoy ourselves. Too bad he had to settle for a burger.) I got the Shrimp Au Gratin with a Baked Potato and Cheese Grits. I recommend it!

Here are a couple of pics from our experience there.

After supper, we went to the Track - a small amusement park with go-carts and kiddie rides. Lily loves to go there. Amber and Rachel were definitely flying high on the "Sky Coaster." It lifts you really high in the sky then you fly through the air back and forth until you are finally lowered back to the bottom! Brave girls!

On Monday, we spent the morning at the beach, then back to the pool. We took a dolphin sight-seeing cruise that afternoon. It was nice but maybe a little bit too long for Lily.

We really enjoyed our trip and were definitely sad to head home on Tuesday. Lily was so spoiled and enjoyed every minute that she spent with Amber, Rachel, and Aunt Shell. (Uncle Joel to be came down on Sunday and we enjoyed time with him, too.)

Those girls were so sweet to Lily and took up a lot of time with her. She thinks she is 13 now.

We are back to reality now but have lots of great memories and pictures to cherish from our mini-vacation.

Here are several more pictures we took at the beach.