A rough morning..A Working Mom's Saddest Moments

Well, this morning was a rough one to say the least! Of all of the mornings that I have left Lily for me to go to work, every now and then, she is a little sad and maybe a little clingy, but especially not at my mom and dad's.

Yesterday, she cried when I gave her to my mom to leave, but I took her back and went to some toys that she loves, sat her down, and she was fine. This morning was a different story. She cried when I gave her to my mom, so I got her back. She practically glued herself to me, and would not let go. I tried the toys but it did not work today. Her daddy came and got her from me, but she still cried..I finally just had to leave my mom's house, crying too of course! My mom called us on the way to work and said that Lily was fine a few seconds later, but I am still not fine.

I was off work with Lily for the first 10 weeks of her life, and I dreaded returning to work and I think I cried the first week or possibly month that I left her. I still cry now when I think about it. There is not a morning that goes by that I am not sad to leave her. I have thought of every way possible for me not to work..and Bj and I decided that it was possible, but we would have to survive on half of the things that we have now and maybe make it through the month.

I've always known that Lily was being taken care of. My mom and dad have her on Monday and Tuesday. She goes to a daycare near our house the rest of the week. Her Nanna Barbara takes really good care of her, too and Lily loves her friends there. She is very outgoing and great with other kids as a result of being there. My mom and dad spoil her on their days, so I always try to tell myself that she is getting the best of both worlds, but on days like today, there is no convincing that we will ever help me leave my precious princess behind.

I have made the decision to work for Lily. I want her to be able to have nice things, a nice house, and be able to do the extra things that we couldn't afford if I didn't work. I never want her to do without. This is also why when I am at home with Lily at night. I spend every minute with her! We play, we dance, we make a mess, and do whatever we want. She has never been away from me over night and she nevers leaves my side on the weekend.

It's just moments like this morning that make me really sad and make me rethink my whole working situation. If you are a stay at home mom, please don't take it for granted because you do not know how many moms would like to be where you are today!

I will make it past today and hope that tomorrow is better, but it never gets easier.